The weather around here leaves a bit to be desired sometimes.  Yesterday it was beautiful, and today it is gloomy, windy fall in Chicago.  I wouldn’t worry so much about it except I am at home feeling somewhat miserable from the oncoming seasons.  I normally don’t complain about illness and discomfort, but it’s hit me so hard and quickly that I’ve been knocked out of my place of denial where I had been residing, pretending that everything that happened last winter was just a fluke and all I needed to do was keep my core warm and I’d be alright.  

So being down and all, it’s nearly impossible to blog in an upbeat way about anything, so I’ve been silent.  Lately the kids and I have been practicing the whole “if you don’t have anything nice to say…” stuff.  I get nervous when I start to hear a lot of negativity around.  As an example, I might say “I ran into Joe’s mom at the gas station this morning.” and the kids reply with stuff like “Yeah, well, Joe kicked Jennifer’s dog last week, and he’s really mean to so and so.  Did you see his haircut, he looks really ugly.  His head is shaped like a football.  I heard that he tries to push third graders down the stairs and doesn’t wash his clothes.  I don’t want him to come over EVER.”  It’s kinda gotten out of control.  My girlfriend from work shared something with me that was discussed in some other arena of her life, and we (pretend like we) apply it when gossiping in the office.  I find it’s more also appropriate for my kids.  Before saying something, I ask that they think and don’t say it unless it meets AT LEAST two of the following criteria:

• True
• Helpful
• Necessary
• Kind

You have to institute the two rule, or else you’ll get lots of things that aren’t necessarily kind but they’re definitely true, like that the neighbor is “really fat,” or “that is the ugliest woman I have ever seen” (local man in the process of a sex change… sorry, they’re kids).  Or maybe they’re helpful but not necessary, like when CC told me that it’s good to have a big butt so I can be more comfortable when I sit on a hard chair.  

In the interest of making it easier for the kids to remember, we decided to add a category to turn it into the acronym of THINK proper, so Important is another option here at home.  It’s a bit redundant, but it’s great now when I can just say THINK to the kids and they know immediately that I don’t like where they’re headed with the conversation.  It usually stops them dead in their tracks.  No one else is the wiser.  When it applies to my husband, we change the add on I-word to Ignorant so that he always hits at least one of the five.  Apparently he feels that he needs to be able to talk sometimes.