Today was a pisser.  First off, I burned my tongue severely on my first sip of coffee this morning.  Add to that, it was a cold and grey and rainy day.  It actually hailed today where I was at.  I have a window cubicle, so I can see the weather while I’m working, and between the tinted office windows and the dark clouds, it was downright depressing looking today!

Aside from the weather, I just had one of those days.  More of the usual nonsense like more work than hours in the day, pissy bitchy coworker drama, zero appreciation for the work that I do (and everyone else in the office, for that matter).  However, I left the office with a bottle of wine today.  You’d think I’d be happy.  Let me just break it all down for you.

I work in a department of three people.  There used to be four, including myself.  When person number three was let go, I took on her responsibilities while still attempting to cover my own.  Hers were more important and pressing, so mine kind of fall by the wayside most days.  I try, but I need help.  Sometimes I get it, and sometimes I bring work home, and sometimes I go in and work on the weekends.  I feel like I have a lot of work and I try really hard (on most days) to get as much done as humanly possible in the time I’m there.  I don’t smoke, so there’s no cigarette breaks (occasionally I will go out with the smokers just to get a break, we’re talking MAYBE once a week), I don’t take lunches because I don’t get paid for them, and although I talk to people once in a while, I sit way in the back in a corner so there isn’t a bunch of traffic by my cubicle.  What I’m saying is that I try.  At least that’s how I see it.  

Today my boss (who we will call worker bee #1) had to talk to the owner of the company about something.  As she comes back, she gives my other department coworker (worker bee #2) something at her desk .  Worker bee #2 was surprised and had to ask what it was before taking it.  Well of course the owner of the company was right on worker bee #1′s ass because it was a bottle of wine, and he was the one who had given it.  So he proceeds to receive accolades and thanks for the most generous gift and he goes on to tell them how very much he appreciates them, and all of their hard work, and dedication… and how he knows they’ve been taking a lot of heat lately, the TWO of them.  I just sat there looking at him as he’s saying “the two of you…” and I can’t even write what I was thinking.  Of course I put my death stare on him.  Wouldn’t you?  I mean honestly!  Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate everything I have.  I realize what a gift it is to work the hours that I do making a semi-decent wage, being off the days my kids are home.  It’s not that I don’t recognize how good that I have it.  I swear.  I recognize it.  But seriously, I WAS SITTING RIGHT THERE!  Shit, I don’t need a bottle of wine, but did I really need to be excluded from being appreciated?  He didn’t even have to mean it, to be honest.  His response to the eyes of death?  He says it’s National Boss’ Day, and asks if I got him a card.  Yeah, I got your card… right here, buddy.

If ever you’ve been the recipient of one of my patented dirty looks, you already know that it totally worked.  Yes, I got a bottle of wine.  Of course I thanked him graciously.  Unfortunately, the problem is that he didn’t even get it.  The whole problem wasn’t that I was excluded from his little gifting ceremony, it was that he completely failed to recognize that I was even there.  I work my ass off for this company, HIS company, and I feel like a ghost.  I’m not a property manager any longer, I’m not in the smoker’s crew, I don’t do lunch with the bitches, I’m not recognized as one of the administrators (even though everyone else in my department was given flowers on admin day last time around… which I did NOT throw in his face when he mentioned boss’ day, thank you very much), I’m not a full timer, I’m not a brown noser, and I’m not a part of the mandatory meetings any longer.  I don’t fit in anywhere!  I’m just that part-timer who is expected to be available to cover for anybody and everybody on demand, help anyone who needs helping on an as-needed basis without regard to the fact that I have lots of work of my own to get done, and who is otherwise is expected to just work diligently and silently without any hope or expectation of appreciation, let alone recognition. Happily.  Realizing that kinda ruined my day.  

That wine had better be GOOD.