When this whole blogging thing started, I can’t even say why I was doing it.  My little designer friend talked me into it, really.  I had no idea what I was getting into or how it would do anything for me.  Some days I’m still not sure that MY blog actually does do anything for me.  Maybe it has and I just don’t know it yet, or maybe it never will.  Hopefully other people are moderately entertained by it.  All 6 of you.  I know that my mother likes it, because she said that now she knows what we’ve been doing between phone calls.  I find that funny, of course.  

Blogging overall though, now that has done something for me.  It has helped me and changed me in so many ways I never would have guessed.  Somehow, reading the blogs of other people has reminded me and opened my eyes to things I’d forgotten in myself.  I don’t know how (kids) or why (kids, husband, life, responsibilities… not in that order) I had gotten so far removed from the things I wanted for myself when I was younger, but when I read, it’s like my mind is coming back to me from a fog.  A deep, dense, multi-year long fog the likes of which horror movies could be based upon.  Because for one, I used to LOVE to read.  I mean LOVE, like as in “if you love that book so much why don’t you marry it?” type of love.  And at some point I really loved to write as well.  Like, creatively.  I think that was before I failed that college English class.  Who makes an entire class about diagraming sentences, anyways?  It was a deceptive course description, in my opinion, and I was ill prepared.  That is one thing I absolutely cannot will not have no interest in master(ing).  And let me remind one college level English professor that “Forget everything you learned about sentence structure in the twelve years prior to today.” is not a teaching method, thankyouverymuch.  Photography?  Uh, yea… I applied to an art school prior to my acceptance to the highly prestigious EIU to be with the boyfriend whose name I need not mention.  Stupid girl.  Food and cooking?  Sure thing.  Did I mention I was a Home Ec major?  I used to cook masterpieces in college, but didn’t have the vision (duh, alcohol) to see where it could take me.  I actually used to tweak recipes!!  Me!!  I know, it’s crazy!  

What’s even crazier is the fact that I FORGOT that I loved these things.  It’s like I literally untrained myself in how to be Becky Babe.  So when I get EXCITED that I’m enjoying cooking, it’s just as geeky as you think it is.  And when writing stupid blog posts about random bullshit that happens in my day causes me to have an actual DREAM… well that’s just like a freaking rainbow breaking through the clouds.  Literally.