Today I made a difficult phone call.  I called a family member who is in the hospital.  I haven’t spoken to him in a LONG time.  Maybe a couple of years, save a 2 minute phone call I’d rather forget and uncomfortable exchange at Christmas Eve last year.  Ok, that’s a bit dishonest.  That’s how long I haven’t “officially” spoken to him, but it’s been much, much longer than that since I’ve actually communicated with him.  

I have some issues with him.  I have lots of issues with him.  Some of them are mine and mine alone, and some of them are on behalf of others, and some of them are his.  I deal with mine as I am able, I distance myself as a means of self preservation.  I realize that my issues on behalf of others must be released because it’s not my fight to fight, and thank God he’s finally making a change to resolve the issues that are his.  

So I made the call, even though my hands shook and my voice cracked.  I don’t know that my call will be returned, and although he could have let it go to voice mail because maybe he isn’t speaking to me EITHER, I hope that my message of love and support was well received.  I want things to change, and I hope for better things in the future, and at this point I am willing to go a little bit more than half way.  Just a little.  

I am cautiously optimistic.