Queen B

Archive for the ‘Badass Ideas’ Category

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Small requests

In Badass Ideas, The little roomies on January 2, 2012 at 12:47 pm

It’s funny, the things that make children happy.  I’m sitting on the floor of the bathroom right now and feeling OK with it.  My darling daughter is in the shower, and it makes her outrageously happy to have company while she showers for some reason.  If only we were all so easy to please.

This morning there was a mess in the kitchen that we didn’t feel like cleaning up from last night.  We were sooooo bad last night.  There are two New Year camps out there.  Those that make changes for the better, and those who have one last hurrah.  We’re of the second.  We had a FRY DAY.  As in deep fry.  We fried sweet potato fries, homemade onion rings, spicy buffalo wings, and my personal favorite from my childhood, battered deep fried cauliflower.  Hell yes I did.  I got flour and batter and oil splatters all over that we left until the morning.  This how bad we are in the new year.  I was OK with this, too, because Hallelujah we had already boxed up and put away all of Christmas way back in 2011.  **pats self on back AGAIN**

Truth be told, I had cold fried battered cauliflower for breakfast, and it took a lot of will power to keep from having cold buffalo wings with it.  Which almost looks like I’m eating healthy or something.  So there.

After the morning cleanup, courtesy of the dear husband, I made pancakes for the kidlets.  Why the hell not, it’s a new year… and how often to you have the luxury of fresh hot pancakes on a Monday, anyway?  I refrained from the cakes myself, because I’m trying to avoid the glutenous flour to see how it helps my fancy non-condition (as in my blood says I’m a pillar of health) and also because I had already eaten cold fried cauliflower.  BTW we also used gluten free flour for our fantastic beer based frying batter if you must question.

I know that I’m the queen of contradiction, no need to point it out.

I am still marveling at how relaxing New Year’s day and the recovery day can be when you don’t have the dreaded Christmas disassembly looming overhead.  Even if one day finds you hung over and eating deep fried foods exclusively.

Tomorrow is always another day, and I’m 99.9% certain it will be free of fried foods.  Probably.

This is the best I can do while sitting on the floor of the bath listening to the chatter of a happy girl who loves company while showering.  Happy New Year.

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Summertime

In Badass Ideas, Nothing to it but to do it on July 19, 2011 at 10:45 pm

It’s summertime in Chicago, and finally, FINALLY the livin’ is easy.  Well, easier, anyhow.

The party went off without a hitch, but not without a LOT of work.  Of course there were helpers.  Lots and lots of helpers, which is unusual for me because I have trouble accepting help, and find it even worse having to ask for it.  But we certainly needed it and without it things wouldn’t have been half as good.  Or perhaps it would have been twice as bad.  Either way, it was new for me, and a tremendous feeling being lifted up like that.  The support puts a smile on my face and makes my spirit shine (like a disco ball).  You know who you are and what you’ve done for us.  Thank you.

I have to say that attending a party is much less work than throwing one.  For the record.

Once the party and the cleanup were behind us, I had an opportunity to actually relax.  It has literally been months since we could rest.  There has been no sitting, no television watching, no leisure whatsoever.

I’ve been making up for that today.

Welcome to Chicago, summer!  We’ve been waiting on you.

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Like it’s 1999

In Badass Ideas, Nothing to it but to do it, The little roomies on May 17, 2011 at 10:57 pm

We’re throwing a party in honor of my son’s 8th grade graduation.

In the midst of a basement remodel, a yard rehab, and a lack of housekeeping in general, we’re throwing a party.

I’m so excited I haven’t been able to sleep, yet slightly nervous because we’ve invited around a million people, and oh shit, what if it rains?

I’ve already started buying alcohol, and I’m taking up a collection of tents to set up tent city in the woods for those who wish to indulge.  My husband reminded me how treacherous it is to cross the creek on our bridge in a sober condition during the daytime hours.

This should be good.

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Rock out

In Badass Ideas, Serious Fun, They're... family? on February 26, 2011 at 9:31 pm

My darling husband made an appearance at the open mic night at our local Borders this Friday.  I love his original stuff, but sometimes a girl’s gotta make a request.


Like attracts like

In Badass Ideas, Nothing to it but to do it on October 14, 2010 at 9:07 pm

Did you ever notice that like attracts like?

Last week sometime  we got a new phone system at work, so now I have caller ID on my work line.  I also have a direct number, which I never had before.  I can give someone my number and they can call my very own phone, or I could give the main phone number and they will be transferred to my line, or parked and picked up from anywhere in the office.  It’s fancy stuff.

A couple of days ago my phone rang and Lynn Weekly popped up on the caller id.  It was fairly early, the first call I’d gotten that morning.  I kind of joked about having caller id.  ’Hmmm, wonder what Lynn Weekly wants this morning!?’ When I picked up, Lynn Weekly was not a lady in the mood for jokes.  I won’t say what company she works for, but I can assure you that I will never, ever do business with that company.  Not if my life depended upon it.  Apparently Lynn Weekly had requested a document.  From ME specifically!  No less than FIVE times.  I am so incompetent, apparently, that I had BLOWN her client’s deal with the lender, and I was to produce said document IMMEDIATELY if not sooner.  That’s when she started barking out information that I had no interest in hearing, whatsoever.

I have to be honest and tell you that it’s not my favorite type of call to get first thing in the morning.

However, when it is blatantly obvious to me that the evil person on the other end of the phone is so obviously wrong in what they are saying… well, I do tend to mess with them just a little bit.  I’m not saying that my blood wasn’t boiling, but it’s a lot more fun when you keep your voice rather cool.  It’s all rather boring drivel to rehash word for word, but basically I called her bluff, and when she couldn’t produce anything to counter (and was clearly not getting her way) she said that she couldn’t deal with my level of incompetence any longer.  I was happy I had the time to reply ‘I agree that there is a great level of incompetence here, but I can assure you that it isn’t coming from me.’ before she hung up on me.

I waited all day for her to realize that she had no idea what she was talking about and call back to apologize.  She never did.  However, her coworker did give me a call, because their problem wasn’t resolved.

She was too chicken to talk to me again?  Crazy.

I explained to him that I had tried speaking with his coworker about their problem earlier.  He claimed to have NO IDEA who she was, that she didn’t work for his company as far as he knew, and he had never heard of her.  Really?!  I let it go, but I did let him know that the document they were referring to was not actually the document they were asking for (if that makes any sense, basically a nice way of saying they had no idea what they were doing), and that they weren’t phoning the correct department.  I’m hopeful that I got the message across.  But nicely.  He responded in kind, and it almost made me feel bad that I had already decided that I was officially boycotting their company forever.

I have a feeling that Lynn couldn’t possibly be a happy person.  How can someone spew such hate without having some of it store up in their psyche, or soul, or heart, or wherever.  There is no way that I could treat someone so poorly, realize that I was completely and utterly WRONG, and then refuse to call to apologize or take responsibility and own up to my ignorance.  There are a lot of people out there who feel justified in treating others like shit, and it is incomprehensible to me.  In this case she called me incompetent when she should have looked in a mirror.  Like attracts like, she drew it to herself.

Today a coworker told me that she was noticing a new spring in my step.  I seemed different.  She liked it, my new vibe.  She said it was infectious and she liked being around me.  She said that I seemed happier, more positive.  As if I was on a different path.  I have some very nice coworkers.  I agree that she’s right, I do feel like I’m on a different path.  I told her that I had decided it was time to quit wallowing in it all and make some changes.  Shake things up a bit.  The Lynn Weekly’s of the world were not going to weigh on me any longer, because I am officially a duck.  She and I made a pact.  We are not going to wallow in it anymore.  It’s our motto, now.  She called it.

Happiness can be contagious, just as misery.  Like attracts like.  I’m done wallowing in it.  You?

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No fair

In Badass Ideas, Serious Fun on September 23, 2010 at 10:51 pm

Here is the deal.

I was riding in the car with my kids and my parents, showing my mom the trampoline pictures in my camera.  There were about three hundred.  She said that it looked like the pictures that they take on America’s Next Model.  Of course she meant the jumping for a shot, not so much the looking like supermodels.

*** In case that was unclear ***

I looked over her shoulder at the photographs to try to see what she was seeing, and couldn’t help but burst out laughing.  My friend looks like she is posing for the camera in midair.  Me?  I look like I’m pooping.  For real?  Whenever I am in the frame, something comes over me.  It just doesn’t seem fair.

Be good, everyone.  Be happy.

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Endeavors of improvement

In Badass Ideas, Nothing to it but to do it on March 17, 2010 at 8:37 am

I am notorious for making broad, sweeping, rash decisions.  I decide that I want to do something, and I can be both stubborn in my insistence that it is probably my best idea ever, and utterly committed to moving heaven and earth to get it done.  A girl knows what she wants.  Seriously, I have will power and resolve to spare.  At least until I’m bored with it, whatever IT happens to be at that time.  This happens much too often, I’m sad to admit.  Apparently I’m full of big fat ideas, with a heaping helping of short attention span on the side, just for fun.

When I was working for the telephone company, when my husband and I just started dating, I used to travel sometimes for business.  By the way, he’s lucky to have made it past the boyfriend stage, as he didn’t believe in meeting his girlfriend at the gate, but instead sat in arrivals.  In. The. Car.  Um, did you think I said GATE?  No.  I said CAR.  This was the pre-cell phone “hey, I’m here” era, the pre-9/11 airport restrictions – as in anyone can go anywhere they want in the airport (including to the terminal to meet someone as they get off of the plane AT THE GATE) era, the pre-she’s committed to me for life so I don’t have to try era.  The time period when he should have been trying to WOO me.  Apparently he used to do all of his wooing from the driver’s seat of the car, outside, while his beloved girlfriend looked through the entire airport for him for over an hour, struggling back and forth in the terminals with all of her large, heavy, wheel-less suitcases and a bum knee.  It was also the pre-all luggage comes standard with wheels era.

Sorry… I lost track of myself there for a minute.

I’ve always wanted to learn another language, because I envy people who are able to speak and understand multiple languages.  I don’t know if it makes you smart or anything, it’s just something I always wished I could do.  I ALWAYS wanted to learn French, because I think that the language is beautiful sounding and I would LOVE to go to France eventually.  Doesn’t hurt that it’s the official language of the Olympics!!!  I’m just sayin’.  My step dad hates anything to do with France and very rationally convinced all of us kids that Spanish was the way to go when it came time to pick a foreign language in school.  You know, on account that the country borders Mexico and all.  Plus there’s that whole bilingual job market thing going on.  The problem with me is that if I don’t have some keen interest in doing something, all hope is lost.  I took 3 years of Spanish in high school and cannot speak, read, understand, or write a LICK of Spanish.  Tu es muy rapido.  That’s it.  I’m a one trick pony and you’ve now experienced my one trick in Spanish.  I had this crazy teacher in high school that gave me C’s in Spanish class even though I never did the homework, didn’t study, didn’t pass ANY of the tests or quizzes, and was completely asshole-ish and disruptive in class.   Three years of C’s somehow.  Tu es muy rapido.  That’s sad.

Anyhow, I spent some time at the airport.  I had a little time to kill.  I saw a Rosetta Stone kiosk at some point.  Do you know how convincing those people are?  Do you know how expensive those programs are???!!  Of course I always secretly wanted one, because they had convinced me that even I could be taught.  The unteachable.  Did I mention my inability to think in another language?  That was what my failure to comprehend hinged upon in Spanish, according to my teacher.  That little pearl of wisdom fueled a long time belief that I DID NOT POSESS THE ABILITY to learn a foreign language.  That and having no interest (in Spanish) to begin with.  Well, I never could afford Rosetta Stone, even with my absolutely sick $17,000 annual salary of the time.  How I paid a mortgage on $17,000 is seriously beyond me.  Marriage, and a baby, followed by NO SALARY at all and zero trips through the airport, I eventually stopped thinking about it.

Until last week, when suddenly this all came back into my consciousness and it was duly noted that I love the French language, I will eventually see France with my two very own eyes, dammit, and I must now GET OVER IT and at least TRY to learn.  Because I want to.  And truly, no one is unteachable.  Right?  So on Monday my hubby made up for not coming to that gate back in the day (he has no problems whatsoever with the new restrictions in the airports, btw.  Shocking, I know.), and stopped by the Northbrook Library to pick up the only copy of Rosetta Stone French, Level 1 available in the Chicagoland area.  For me.  Because he is nothing if not supportive of my crazy, to a fault.  Oui?

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Glorious Monday

In Badass Ideas, The little roomies, They're... family? on January 18, 2010 at 10:08 pm

Today has just been a joy, I must say.  Yes, I woke up and my Ph is still the same (as is the weight, dammit), but when I wake up on a Monday and there is NO ALARM, and I can put on SWEATS and NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE… well, all is right in the world.

What I do on a weekday off is pretend like I don’t work at all, and this is just a regular day for me.  Yes, I have to work tomorrow, but for today I was just some random stay at home mom hanging out doing everyday things.  I made dinner for tonight, and tomorrow, too!  I hung with the kids, I made popcorn, I cleaned, I did laundry.  Things I honestly might complain about, normally, but which take on a certain charm when I get to do them leisurely on an extra day off.  If I was home all the time, I would probably learn to complain about them again, no worries.  I’m not THAT abnormal.

Right now is the best time of my day, I have to admit.  My boy is downstairs in the basement hanging out with a couple of chicks from school.  He taught one how to play bass, and now they’re practicing and writing songs, and forming A BAND.  Of course this is all cute and cool and fun and fantastic and wonderful all wrapped into one for me, but I’m sure the fact that I have even acknowledged it would be a horrific nightmare for him if it ever got out.  Man, it’s taken all my willpower not to ask to take a picture of them!  Anyhow, my girl CC and I have a couple of times stopped and said to each other “Hey, that sounds pretty good!” and he’s beaming from ear to ear every time he pokes his head back upstairs, and having a great time.  All of his lessons and practice are paying off.  I can’t wait to hear what they decide to name their band, and I am inspired to really put some effort into getting the basement put together (finished) so that my freshly minted teen has a cool (laid back, safe, trouble-free, close!) place to hang out with his friends.  Because it’s always great when home is the best place to be.

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I lost my days

In Badass Ideas, Stick a fork in it! on December 26, 2009 at 11:32 am

See what happens when I get a couple of days off?  I don’t know what day it is!  I posted that video on Friday and then realized that it was FRIDAY.  As in Flashback Friday.  So I guess you’ll have to flash back only one day with that one.  Sorry, folks!

Well…. I made it through the holidays.  It was questionable there for a bit.  I go into overload at about the 50th baked good.  It was quite a blow when I lost every stinking thing that I baked last Saturday.  EVERY. THING.  Just to give you an idea, I threw away 30 qty. 1/2 loaves of baked goods.  Yes.  Thirty.  OK, Thirty-ish.  I lost count.  Thankfully, I recovered, but my baking confidence was seriously damaged.  To the point where I am afraid people are at this very moment spitting a bite of my banana bread directly into the garbage can, it’s so bad. Everything in them might have sucked.  I ended up baking a lot, and it should have been worth it when I had home baked baskets of goodies for all my loved ones on Christmas Eve.  Hopefully they tasted good, because at some point there were no more taste test loaves or time to do so.  It really is the thought that counts, right?  My babysitter told her mom (my boss at work) that I was crazy.  She said “Have you seen those baskets?  There’s a ton of them!  And she hasn’t even started baking!”  Little did she know that I had certainly HAD started, and failed.  And failed, and failed, and failed.  Oh, and that her mom tells me when she says I’m crazy.  Ahem!

It ended up I made 12 loaves of banana bread (successful bread, not the stuff I threw away), 10 loaves of carrot bread, and 10 loaves of apple bread.  The apple is my favorite, the carrot is new, and the banana is from a nut bread recipe that I’ve used forever and I just add banana.  I don’t know if it would be any good at all as a straight nut bread because I’ve NEVER made straight nut bread.  I also made 8 or 10 rounds of glazed almond (and I have the tiny burns to prove it), one big pan of toffee, 8 batches (by batch I mean of dough, not pans) of peanut butter cookies, 3 batches of chocolate chip cookie bars (totally mundane, I know, but my dad loves these), and 8 batches of snickerdoodles.  The snickerdoodle is our new favorite cookie in the Frank house.  I retained for home use or threw away banana bread, cornbread, and beer bread.  Over the top amounts.  On Christmas morning I made one more batch of apple bread for brunch in 2 regular sized loaves just for eating since I gave everything away and kept nothing for myself.  My husband made everything look pretty and Christmas-y for gifting.  Every loaf is wrapped in butcher paper and ribbon, The cookies are tucked into little paper bags of red and green, and the candy nestled into little PLASTIC Christmas candy bags.  Grrrr.  There aren’t many choices though, because the nuts have butter in them and will not tolerate a paper bag presentation.

Christmas Baskets

It’s exhausting just looking at all of it again.  Seriously cute though, right?

Here’s the glazed almond recipe just for kicks:

1/2 cup of sugar

1 cup of raw almonds

2 tablespoons butter

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Combine the butter, sugar, and almonds in a skillet, and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until the almonds are covered and the sugar is melted and amber color.  Turn off the heat, add the vanilla, and stir quickly to combine.  Pour candy onto a piece of foil, sprinkle lightly with sea salt, and allow to harden.  Break into small clusters and watch it disappear!

Glazed Almonds

It’s a completely simple recipe, right?  Deceptively simple for how wonderful these are when completed.  Here are my tips on the almonds:

  1. Wear long sleeves, and a glove on the stirring hand.
  2. Do NOT double the batches.  It’s tempting, I know.  Don’t.
  3. Use a WOODEN spoon for stirring.  I prefer a flat ended spoon for ease of pushing it around for even cooking.
  4. Keep stirring, even when your arm falls asleep.
  5. Do not put your heat too high.  Or too low.  I can’t help you here, you just have to figure it out.
  6. A face mask?  Maybe… if you don’t like tiny burns on your face.
  7. Yes, keep stirring.
  8. They aren’t done until the sugar mixture is all translucent and amber color, no cloudy sugar.  Look at all the nuts, because clumps of sugar will try to hide.
  9. Pause before you add the vanilla, to allow the sugar to fill all holes your spoon may have made or it will spit like the Dickens!
  10. If you haven’t already been wearing one, put a glove on the stirring hand BEFORE you add the vanilla.  It will still spit.  Yes, you let the sugar fill the hole.  It will still spit.
  11. This can be dangerous candy to make.  Make your children leave the kitchen.
  12. If you hear a loud pop, protect your face!
  13. Do not put the foil directly on a pine table.  It can and will cause any knots in your table to release sap.
  14. Have your foil ready BEFORE you start cooking the sugar.
  15. Seriously, reconsider the face mask.  Especially if you have slow reflexes.
  16. The process is much faster in a hot pan after the first batch, plan accordingly.
  17. This is really hot, please be careful.  Melted sugar is capable of some SERIOUS burns if not handled with care.  It’s a melted solid, it’s sticky, and it’s extremely hot.  A lethal combination.

Reconsidering the nuts?  Naaah, I didn’t think so.  Those tips are from years of experience in making this wonderful concoction.  I’m only half joking about the face mask.  I will say that once you get into the groove and know what you’re in for, they are really delicious and possibly worth the pain and suffering.  If you wear the mask, they’re cake.  Let me know what you think.

If this snow lets up, we’re off to the Science and Industry Museum today.  I love the snow, so I don’t know what I’m hoping for.  It’s a tie right now between hunkering down with the kids at home and watching it come down, or seeing the Green Home at the museum before they remodel it.  I hope you have a great big ol’ pile of a great weekend, everybody!

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Called it macaroni

In Badass Ideas, Nothing to it but to do it on November 15, 2009 at 12:53 am

So much fun tonight.  While we were out today, the hubby bought a bunch of feathers.  He wanted to make a new hat feather for the pork pie that the kids got him for his birthday.  

So together we sat at the kitchen table this evening and made hat feathers of every imaginable color combination.  Illini pride colors, halloween colors, holiday colors, autumnal colors, spring colors… you name it, we put it together.  Wanna see?  You got it…

Fun night with feathers   The polka dotted one is professionally made.   

Cool hat feathers   Novices!!!

Pretty hat feathers

So this was our first try, but between the four of us we came up with some really kick ass hat feathers.  A strange way to spend a Saturday night, but well worth the effort.  We need to get some new tape, because the black that we bought wasn’t good, so we had to make do with some blue stuff that we just happened to have around.  The next round won’t have the blue tape and they’ll look better, although you can’t see any of the tape when they’re on the hat, anyhow.  Not what I intended to do tonight, but so glad we did with hat season coming!

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