Queen B

Archive for the ‘Random nonsense’ Category

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I’m a loser, baby

In Random nonsense, Self-deprecating humor, Who comes up with this stuff? on February 5, 2012 at 2:05 pm

It’s been one of those kind of weekends.

Hubby has been hard at work on the basement all weekend.

We needed supplies from Menards, so we made a stop first at the grocery for ingredients to make an easy dinner.  While I was shopping, my phone made its distinctive dinging sound, which meant I had a text.

It was my sister, asking on behalf of her daughter if MY daughter was coming to the sleep over birthday party that started an hour earlier. Preplanned. With USPS mailed invitations and everything.

The evening started an unnatural (and uncomfortable) acceleration from that ding going forward.

Oh, and then there was this on our way out:

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Don’t be jealous.  The little one gave me a Valentine, and the big one gave me a hug.  An awkward one, of course, him being in a box and all.  But, I mean, how do you say no to a gift directly from God?  Not a gift just for me entirely, obviously.  Apparently I have to share with all women, if I’m reading the tag correctly.

Yea, it’s been one of THOSE types of weekends.


Tuesday funnies

In Random nonsense on November 29, 2011 at 6:26 am

I realized as I was driving in to work this morning, jamming out to Tom Petty, that my tapping toe felt funny.

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No, those are not the shoes I intended to wear with a skirt.  I forgot my “work” shoes, and had worn my “run out and start the car early so it warms up” shoes instead.

I looked like Olive Oil, only without her Popeye.  Dammit.

**hangs head in shame**

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On Gratitude

In Random nonsense, Self-deprecating humor on August 19, 2011 at 7:07 am

As I drove in to work this morning, I planned this elaborate blog post in my head, all sappy sweet and poetic about how fantastic everything is. I was listening to Pink Floyd, and watching a sun rise, and thinking about some quippy mug I saw saying “the early bird gets the worm,” and feeling quite pleased with myself. It’s a challenge to write a blog post in my head on less than 5 hours of sleep and then be able to “get it on paper” afterwards. So I’m thinking that I’m pretty clever in my phrasing and all that nonsense, until I realize that in the end I have essentially said that I have worms. A whole lotta worms.

Because there’s nothing more poetic in the early morning than thinking about telling everyone that I have parasites.

And people, I SO DO NOT HAVE PARASITES!

I’m just a lot grateful. And a little bit sleepy.

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Patting myself on the back

In Nothing to it but to do it, Random nonsense on July 5, 2011 at 11:20 am

Another random and minor project completed.

I never knew how horrible a white door on a brown house could be.  Especially one that never, ever gets used.  Seriously, who needs to visit me in the laundry room?  Either way, I’m taking “paint door” AND “install screen” AND “paint screen” off my list.  Permanently.

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Round Two

In Nothing to it but to do it, Punishment for what?, Random nonsense on June 27, 2011 at 11:01 pm

So we got the first half of phase 1 basement remodel completed, and here we go on the second.

Just finished carrying a trillion plus six pounds of 10 foot long 5/8″ drywall for miles (ok, from the car around to the backyard into the basement, but still).

This is not something we should be doing in preparation for a party. Seriously, most people just clean the floors, right?!

The upside is that somewhere in all of the dust I can see the outline of my dream home, which fills me with joy.

Still, I can’t wait to be done, because drywall is heavy. And I’m sorta on the woosie end of the strength spectrum. Just sayin’.

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London Calling

In Random nonsense, Things we've put the ground, Who comes up with this stuff? on June 15, 2011 at 8:21 pm

So my hubby made it safely to the other side of the pond.  He was landing on solid ground as I was dragging my dead ass to work on Monday.  I work at an obscenely early hour, I just decided.  As if I hadn’t already made that clear.

Is obscenely a word?  As it relates to my work schedule, it must be.

As is common practice, I have turned into a completely different type of parent now that THE MAN isn’t around.  Letting the kids sleep in my bed, staying up late playing video games, eating ice cream, renting 4 movies from Redbox even though we won’t watch them all before they’re due back, eating out, having lots of kids over.  Yea, I’m really living on the edge.

Besides all the enjoyable stuff, there’s plenty of not enjoyable stuff going on, too.  Moving rocks around in my yard (big rocks), adding dirt by the 40 lb bag (there’s a million places that could use topsoil around here, I get 5-6 bags every time we go to Home Depot…15 so far this week), painting the primer on the drywall, spraying round up on the weeds.

This is the first time I’ve really used a weed killer in my yard, and I’m really struggling with it.  On the one hand, I put together the diaphragm pump hubby bought me all by myself, and I was really happy to have it.  Then, as I was spraying weeds all over the place, I started thinking about how many toads there used to be when I was growing up around here.  There were also turtles, frogs, and snakes.  I haven’t seen a snake in YEARS (no thanks to my mom, I might add).  I know it’s all the chemicals we (as a community, I don’t have lawn treatment) put in the grass and all over every living thing.  I have… GUILT.  Over the weeds.  On the other hand, I have no chance against the weeds up in here!  Seriously I am fighting a losing battle.  As in I’m being bludgeoned by cotton pickin’ thistle to within inches of my life.  Yes, I know that it’s actually a beautiful plant when it flowers, but it also hurts if you so much as brush up against it.  I could fill a landscape bag with thistle right now if I put my mind to it.  A whole bag.  Just thistle.  Oh, and don’t get me started on the Stinging Nettle which has made itself quite comfortable leaning into the seating area on my lower deck.  For those who haven’t encountered this lovely invasive, yes, it lives up to its name and stings.  FOR HOURS.

So after a multi-year and ongoing toad relocation project, I feel like I’m no better than any of the other jokers out there chemically spraying the life out of everything.  Besides which, as of this morning the damned weeds weren’t even looking like they have been affected!

What the french, toast?

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Couple ‘a, few things

In Random nonsense on March 26, 2011 at 12:54 pm

First, I feel I have to explain the lack of photographs of late.  My husband has been knee deep in a basement remodel that includes a fair amount of demolition.  We currently have our “big” computer disconnected and tucked safely away somewhere in a corner (this occurred only after our printer/scanner was killed dead two weekends ago because it WASN’T tucked away safely anywhere).  My laptop doesn’t really have the capability to handle the photos from my big girl camera.  So no photos for you.  Or me.  Boo.

Second, and this may be old news to a couple of you, I have purchased the most fantastic umbrella.  Man, if that computer was up I would SO have a big fat picture in here.  So sorry you’ll have to use your mind’s eye.  Big, clear, bubble umbrella with silver edging and a big hooked crystal clear lucite handle.  Fan.Tas.Tic.  I am such a child when I bust that baby out.  Bring on the spring rains!

**I apologize in advance if I have just jinxed the area into the first ever spring drought.**

I also need to send a big THANK YOU to my friend Janet for seeing the absolute joy that came over my face when I spotted that baby at the store, and who gently nudged me to stop being so flipping uptight and buy it already!  Sometimes it’s fun to be frivolous.  In addition, I need to apologize to all the superstitious souls who had to witness me opening my umbrella on multiple occasions INDOORS to show it off, because it truly is that cool.

Third, I have survived my first attempt at yoga.  I just needed to share that. However, I have had to apply Bengay to my shoulder ever since, and because of this I now smell like an old man.  I hope it feels better by next session, but either way I’ll mention it to the instructor to see if I can avoid a similar fate the next time.

Fourth,  my dear husband and my unbelievably talented yet stage-shy son played an open mic together at the local Borders last night.  Luckily for them I hadn’t yet applied any Bengay or it would have been even MORE embarrassing for the boy.  As if the video camera and the hearts shooting out of my eyes weren’t enough, right?  I’ve posted a couple of videos (with permission) on my YouTube channel for anyone interested, they are the two with the date in the title (March 25). FYI, he is not at all comfortable playing in front of people, and we’re still unsure if it will ever happen again. It was more traumatic than it appears.

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheTinyTyrantVideo

Fifth and finally, I just wanted to tell everyone hi.  HI!!  Even though it was snowing JUST LAST NIGHT, the sun is out, spring is on its way, and I’m feeling pretty darned good, aside from the overwhelming smell of Bengay making my eyes water, and the pain in my shoulder that is a complete buzz kill.  But, of course these are things I can work around.

Peace to the many who don’t have it so good, you’re on my mind.

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Baby it’s cold outside

In Random nonsense, Who comes up with this stuff? on January 1, 2011 at 10:19 pm

Well, winter is finally here, isn’t it?  After a 50+ degree day yesterday!  Yikes.

There has been so much happening, and I just feel three steps behind.  Hooks’ passing, the nearly immediate services and all of the activity that was involved with that, my gf Maureen’s party for her husband down on the farm, my son’s birthday, Christmas Eve (cancelled in the traditional sense), my brother and family visiting from the East coast, Christmas, New Year’s Eve.

A pineapple incident that landed me in the ER.

I feel exhausted just thinking about it.

We have lots to catch up on, but I just spent an entire day (practically) uploading photos to Facebook and I can hardly stand it.  You know I have to have at least a few self deprecating photographs I’ve saved up that I just HAVE to share.  Can you say glutton for punishment?

Do you have any patience left for me?  It’s a new year, after all.  I’m sure you can muster up just a smidge.

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Doing the bump

In Random nonsense, They're... family? on December 28, 2010 at 10:16 pm

I hesitated to post anything lately, because with every post, my uncle Hooks got closer to being bumped from the home page.  I had deleted his last message from my phone a couple of weeks before he died, and it was a tiny bit comforting to see his face on my blog as I remember him in happy times.  I very much miss the Hooks of happy times, but I guess I’ve been missing that for many years.

Anyhow… so I’m posting and he’s officially bumped, apparently.  Time to stop dwelling, I guess.

My Christmas was much better than expected.  The family sort of cancelled our regular tradition of spending Christmas Eve together, and we branched off and spent the holiday with our immediate families in smaller clusters.  From what I’ve heard, everyone was pleasantly surprised that they still had a nice holiday.  Maybe in the future we can all come back together, but I’m learning that you never know what the future will hold for you, especially when it involves family!

Tomorrow is the final day of Family Week for me.  We are having a Thanksgiving do-over at my mom’s house before my brother leaves with his family to go back home to Rhode Island on Thursday morning.  It will be a bittersweet day.  I can’t remember if I’ve stopped crying every time he leaves again or not, since it’s been so many years he’s lived out of state now.  Judging by how I feel at the moment thinking about it, I’m gonna guess no.  I’ll sure give it the old college try to keep a dry eye.

Hmmm.  I think I’m a poet!

Tonight we purchased a family Mega Millions ticket, hoping it will make the next visit come sooner when we win.  My husband has also declared that he will be buying a Bentley.

He will not.


I’m trying!

In Photography, Random nonsense on December 24, 2010 at 12:46 am

There are so many of you waiting both patiently and impatiently for photos to be posted.

Shots of the family mourning – but together, drinking parties, frozen landscapes, birthdays and soon to be holidays…

I’m sorry but I’ve been mourning, drinking, getting stuck in the snow, celebrating, and running my ass off.  I intend to have my shit together soon.

Promise.

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