Queen B

Archive for the ‘Who comes up with this stuff?’ Category

Ginger bug

In Healthy shmealthy, Stick a fork in it!, Who comes up with this stuff? on March 18, 2012 at 7:06 pm

I didn’t have the chance to start my ginger bug last night, so I had to take care of it this morning. It sounded so easy, really I was just being lazy. Well, I was brewing tea for my next batch of kombucha, so technically, I was busy. Technically.

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I’m excited to see where this project takes me.  What I’m hoping for (fingers crossed) is that my kids will fall head over heals for this good-for-you soda and swear off the sugary  high fructose corn syrup filled soda from the market.  I’m pretty sure that’s what is gonna happen.  I’m not too worried about my little girlfriend, but that boy is stubborn.  No matter how many times he tries the kombucha or at what stage it is in the fermentation process, his answer is always the same; “no, I still don’t like it.  sorry.”  I’m not even convinced he’s actually sorry (just kidding, dear!).  We shall see if he can be swayed towards filling his gut with the beneficials rather than the detrimentals…

Either way, I’m stoked to be getting started.  It was so super simple.  In a mason jar I put together purified water, 1 Tablespoon chopped organic ginger, 2 teaspoons organic sugar.  I’m letting it hang on top of the refrigerator next to the kombucha (they’re fast friends now).

Such excitement here, huh?  What did you cook up this weekend?

Mom, ignore this post

In The little roomies, Who comes up with this stuff? on February 22, 2012 at 2:45 pm

I had every intention of writing a post yesterday. Swear. Then I worked late, and had to race directly to the school for volunteering and the rest of the day just accelerated out of my control. I probably could have put something together while the television was on last night, but by then I just didn’t have the energy to combat all the distractions. So I watched the Parenthood (I’ve just recently started watching… I saw the first episode and totally wasn’t into it, and then picked it up recently and wished I’d been watching since the beginning. Duh.)

Anyhow, there’s a few things.

I had another frustrating interaction with the Volkswagen dealer service shop on Monday when I brought my car in. Although we called and made an appointment on Saturday and indicated we needed a loaner (and received confirmation that one would be available), they didn’t have one. So I had to sit for 1/2 hour waiting for Enterprise to come pick me up so that VW could rent me a vehicle. You didn’t think I left empty-handed, did you? Or worse… wait for them to work on my car? HA! That’s laughable. I was still completely over the top pissed, though, because a loaner takes about two minutes to get into but renting a car ended up taking over an hour total, even if it didn’t cost me anything. First I had to wait for them to create a PO for payment, then I waited for Enterprise to pick me up, then I had to wait for the porter to shuttle me to Enterprise when they didn’t show up! It was literally across the damned street! I swear if I had known that I would’ve walked over myself and saved 1/2 hour. Enterprise put me in an HHR. The girl at Enterprise kept telling me things like “the only thing you’re responsible for is the HHR” and “when you leave the HHR,” and I finally had to ask her what the hell an HHR is. Of course I was standing right next to it. I didn’t like it, by the way. The windows are really small, so it ends up being really dark in the car and there are a TON of blind spots. Plus, it smelled funny. As if someone had smoked in it and tried to cover it up with cinnamon scented Febreeze or something. Ick. I immediately preset all the radio buttons to decent music stations. I didn’t change them back to the crap they were set to before (AM radio and jazz… did I mention that jazz makes me super tense?), and I didn’t put any gas in it before I took it back. I’m such a rebel. It took so long to get the car and then drive home that VW called and said my car was ready right after I walked in the door which didn’t help my mood at all. Apparently the software update they did last week had caused an electrical charge to build up in the tachometer and they needed to release that charge and that was all. I’m not sure if I buy it or not, but that’s their story. Today my driver’s side window wouldn’t go down for about ten seconds (which I now refer to as THE TEN SECONDS OF FURY). It did eventually go down, so I’m not going to bother taking it in, mostly because I don’t have the patience to deal with them on another intermittent problem that they’ll dismiss so soon, but I have very little faith in my vehicle’s electrical system at the moment.

My Kombucha Round Two is doing awesome! That thin and questionable scoby I had created in the last batch has changed its mind and floated back up to the top of the brew! It’s like a Kombucha miracle or something! I have been better about leaving this batch alone, as well. I have it wrapped up in its little darkness dish towel and I have only peeked in TWO TIMES since the 17th. That isn’t bad, right? I guess that isn’t as many days as I thought. Well, whatever, things are looking good and that’s all that matters.

And finally… (mom seriously if you’re reading this even though you were told not to… see title… please look away now because you’re not gonna like it.)

CC got herself a new little friend.

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It truly is a little friend, no matter how large it looks in that photo.  It measures about six inches long MAYBE.  I think that my girl smiled bigger than that when we allowed her to buy it, even though we’ve been on a strict no-pet policy here for the last year or so.  It is a common Garter snake, her second.  The first was wild caught (actually caught in the dead of winter inside of a business, it would have died if she hadn’t taken it), but this one was purchased at a pet store.  She has been on the hunt for another Garter since the last one perished, and I can’t argue that it was probably the best pet she ever had; no noise, no smell, completely docile.

Rules are made to be broken, right?

Sorry to anyone who doesn’t appreciate snakes showing up unexpectedly in their inbox.

*****Edited to add:  My mom totally read this post.  I know, because she never listens.  Also, she sent me a text that said “nice snake.” *****

Holy brightness Batman

In Nothing to it but to do it, Punishment for what?, Self-deprecating humor, Who comes up with this stuff? on February 20, 2012 at 7:11 am

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As I mentioned, I’ve actually been taking care of my nails and painting them and such lately. Let it be known that this will be the VERY LAST TIME I let my husband have a say in the color selection. I’m more a black, brown, navy kinda girl. Yes, I know I did a crap job of painting them as well, but in my defense I knew this color wasn’t gonna be around long, and it was a working weekend, so I pretty much slapped it on. Sue me.

In other news, today the Blueberry goes back to the shop. Saturday morning as I was driving my family around, my husband looked over and said “what’s up with your tachometer?”. I’m not fooled, he was probably trying to check my speed (but I’ll let it slide this one time). Regardless, the tach is dead, as in 0 RPM at all times. Needless to say I was not pleased, as displayed by my string of curses a mile long. My husband wisely handled the call to the dealership to protect them from my wrath.

He will not be with me when I bring it in. I’m just sayin’.

In a nutshell

In Serious Fun, The little roomies, Who comes up with this stuff? on February 18, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Welp…. the mother yeast was transferred last night after we went to see HUGO in 3D (more on that later). Surprisingly, although it was thin, it was one solid culture all the way across the top of the container. Yes, I did a happy dance when I pulled it out and it didn’t fall apart. I’m unsure if I should be dancing so much, though, because it sank in the new tea rather than floating as I’d hoped. In my extensive reading this morning I have found that the batch will now form a new scoby on the top of the jar again. Oh the pain of waiting. I hope this takes less time now that there is a thin but more substantial starter scoby in this batch.

I did not even taste test the first batch to see how it tasted, because I was scared. It was only started with a dime sized blob from a commercial bottle of GT’s, for crying out loud.

Also, I’ve now scared myself in all my reading that I shouldn’t use the glass bottles I had planned for bottling, lest I blow off a hand or put my eye out. Great. I’m not sure how I am going to resolve that one, because there is no way I’m going to be reusing BPA loaded plastic soda bottles as suggested. Besides which, we don’t drink soda so I wouldn’t even have a source! Ugh. First world problems are the WORST!

So we went to see Hugo in 3D last night as a special treat for the family to celebrate that both my husband and I got paid this week. Personally I get more excited about the prospect of buying fruit at the grocery (because we were literally down to 1/2 of an orange on Friday and I was the lucky one chosen to take it to work for breakfast – since I get off at 11 I don’t eat lunch at work, yo), but whatever!! A movie it is! I drove. Swiftly, I might add. My kids make awesome DJs in the back seat with their iPod plugged into the AUX through the radio.

*have I mentioned how much I love my little zippy Volkswagen? I do, I do.*

Anyhow, I have beef with somebody. I’m not sure who, maybe it’s the movie theatre, maybe the industry itself, maybe the advertisers (probably the advertisers). In a clip prior to the film, there was a little something (like a cartoon-y ad of some sort) about having a good night being in the theatre with friends and a friend says the boy two seats down thinks she’s HOT which turns a good night into a great night. Really? Why o’ why do all girls now have to be HOT? It’s my newest obsessive pet peeve. That expression, to me, implies something sexual in nature (if I must be honest), rather than someone’s appearance. Am I wrong? I don’t like it, is what I’m saying. I want my girl to be beautiful, pretty, exotic looking, cute, adorable or lovely. But HOT? I swear I’ll tell her to kick that boy between the legs. Just sayin’. And yes, I’ve taught my son better than to say that about a gal.

So, that movie. Visually stunning. That boy playing Hugo had some of the bluest eyes if ever there were. Were they digitally enhanced? I don’t know, maybe. They certainly popped, though. For the record I have to say that 3D gives me a headache, but the 3D in this movie really worked to its advantage. I know it’s been out for quite a while now, but I recommend the movie to anyone who hasn’t yet seen it. My family liked it, even though I found it to be sad. I don’t want to give anything away, but I could relate to the boy in a way that my husband and children couldn’t and it did bring tears to my eyes during and after the movie. But I think too much, so there’s that.

Future weekend plans include watching the neighbor throw yard debris over the property line onto my property (can already check that one off the list ~ thank you asshole), laundry, doing my nails (because I paint them now and they are getting too long for fast typing at work… does anyone else have one hand that grows faster than the other?), cleaning, basement work including moving in a bunch of drywall, and a nephew birthday party this evening. More basement work to follow on Sunday.

Please tell me someone has more interesting plans than that?

I’m a loser, baby

In Random nonsense, Self-deprecating humor, Who comes up with this stuff? on February 5, 2012 at 2:05 pm

It’s been one of those kind of weekends.

Hubby has been hard at work on the basement all weekend.

We needed supplies from Menards, so we made a stop first at the grocery for ingredients to make an easy dinner.  While I was shopping, my phone made its distinctive dinging sound, which meant I had a text.

It was my sister, asking on behalf of her daughter if MY daughter was coming to the sleep over birthday party that started an hour earlier. Preplanned. With USPS mailed invitations and everything.

The evening started an unnatural (and uncomfortable) acceleration from that ding going forward.

Oh, and then there was this on our way out:

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Don’t be jealous.  The little one gave me a Valentine, and the big one gave me a hug.  An awkward one, of course, him being in a box and all.  But, I mean, how do you say no to a gift directly from God?  Not a gift just for me entirely, obviously.  Apparently I have to share with all women, if I’m reading the tag correctly.

Yea, it’s been one of THOSE types of weekends.

Welcome

In Serious Fun, Who comes up with this stuff? on November 30, 2011 at 1:13 pm

The Frank Family Chorus would like to welcome the holiday season with song.

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Those Smurfs got nothing on us.

Gender bias

In Punishment for what?, Who comes up with this stuff? on July 2, 2011 at 1:03 am

Normally I’m all feminist and shit, in case you were wondering.  Not like in-your-face feminism or anything, but it’s in there.  I vote it, I think it, I teach it to my children, occasionally I talk about it, I live it.  Every so often I become outraged over it and shake my fists at stuff.  I know the entire song about Woman’s Suffrage from Schoolhouse Rock.

Of course I know the lyrics to pretty much all the music I’ve ever heard since childhood, but still.

All of this makes the crap I put up with at my job that much more shocking.

A few days ago I came home and realized that although we have been mowing our lawn every week, it had been many weeks since we had weed whipped it (or weed whacked for those of you who prefer that terminology, we like to call things by strange names around here).  All of my flower beds (and in some cases, weed beds) are edged by large boulders and rocks so the mower can only get so close.  Normally THE MAN handles the whipping, but as I’ve mentioned ad nauseam, he’s been abroad, and then we’ve been up to our eyeballs in mineral wool insulation (itchy), drywall (heavy), and paint (causing carpal tunnel, I’m pretty sure).

In answer to my complaining about the lack of whipping, my husband gave me a quick tutorial on using the whipper machine.  Let me just stop here for a second for a WTF.

WTF, dude?!

Let me tell you how pathetic it was when I came home from work the next day and whipped the edges of my yard (of which there are trillions, I’ve decided).  It was the very first time I had ever whipped a yard, and I expected it to be tedious, but not horrific.  I was wrong.  It was horrific.  I had to take breaks; like, as in to set down the whipping machine so that my arms would not fall right off of my torso.  A lot of them.  It was embarrassing, and I’m pretty sure the neighbors were all in their windows pointing and laughing.  I was excited when the evil stick ran out of gas.  Then THE MAN filled the damned thing back up while I wasn’t looking and left it for me to finish while he took my girl to the library.

Whippers are not made for short people, I decided.  I tried to pass along that little tidbit of information, but THE MAN claimed that it’s just as difficult for him and he’s much taller than me.  I’m not buying it.  I had dirt in my hair.  In all of it.  I don’t think that he has a 1:1 ratio of dirt to hair on his head by the time he’s finished whipping.

When I tried to eat my dinner, I complained the entire time that I couldn’t lift my arms.  In my whiniest, saddest of voices.  I couldn’t. Lift. My. Arms.  Got no sympathy, as usual.

THE MAN tells me “you don’t have to do it every week.” as if I will ever be whipping anything again.  Silly thing.

Man’s work.  For reals.

London Calling

In Random nonsense, Things we've put the ground, Who comes up with this stuff? on June 15, 2011 at 8:21 pm

So my hubby made it safely to the other side of the pond.  He was landing on solid ground as I was dragging my dead ass to work on Monday.  I work at an obscenely early hour, I just decided.  As if I hadn’t already made that clear.

Is obscenely a word?  As it relates to my work schedule, it must be.

As is common practice, I have turned into a completely different type of parent now that THE MAN isn’t around.  Letting the kids sleep in my bed, staying up late playing video games, eating ice cream, renting 4 movies from Redbox even though we won’t watch them all before they’re due back, eating out, having lots of kids over.  Yea, I’m really living on the edge.

Besides all the enjoyable stuff, there’s plenty of not enjoyable stuff going on, too.  Moving rocks around in my yard (big rocks), adding dirt by the 40 lb bag (there’s a million places that could use topsoil around here, I get 5-6 bags every time we go to Home Depot…15 so far this week), painting the primer on the drywall, spraying round up on the weeds.

This is the first time I’ve really used a weed killer in my yard, and I’m really struggling with it.  On the one hand, I put together the diaphragm pump hubby bought me all by myself, and I was really happy to have it.  Then, as I was spraying weeds all over the place, I started thinking about how many toads there used to be when I was growing up around here.  There were also turtles, frogs, and snakes.  I haven’t seen a snake in YEARS (no thanks to my mom, I might add).  I know it’s all the chemicals we (as a community, I don’t have lawn treatment) put in the grass and all over every living thing.  I have… GUILT.  Over the weeds.  On the other hand, I have no chance against the weeds up in here!  Seriously I am fighting a losing battle.  As in I’m being bludgeoned by cotton pickin’ thistle to within inches of my life.  Yes, I know that it’s actually a beautiful plant when it flowers, but it also hurts if you so much as brush up against it.  I could fill a landscape bag with thistle right now if I put my mind to it.  A whole bag.  Just thistle.  Oh, and don’t get me started on the Stinging Nettle which has made itself quite comfortable leaning into the seating area on my lower deck.  For those who haven’t encountered this lovely invasive, yes, it lives up to its name and stings.  FOR HOURS.

So after a multi-year and ongoing toad relocation project, I feel like I’m no better than any of the other jokers out there chemically spraying the life out of everything.  Besides which, as of this morning the damned weeds weren’t even looking like they have been affected!

What the french, toast?

Dumbass move of the day

In Who comes up with this stuff? on May 31, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Last night I took back my library book.  It was after hours, so I used the handy-dandy drive up deposit window.  Apparently I ALSO deposited a book that I had borrowed from my mother.

OOPS!

Today, when I realized what I had done, I phoned the library to retrieve my mother’s book, and I was told “don’t count on getting it back.”

Uhhhhhh, ‘scuse Me??

Yea.  Apparently if you deposit a book in the book drop that isn’t a library book, they “assume” that it’s a donation for the Friends of the Library program which sells used books a couple of times per year to raise funds for library programs.  OK, I get that, but have they ever heard the saying about assumptions over there at the library?  What if someone such as myself was to call in to tell someone that it was an accidental drop?  Because in this instance, it was an ACCIDENT.  And, !HELLO!, I phoned with the information BEFORE the books were picked up for the Friends.

I was told, in fact, that all of the donated books from the book deposit were there, in a bin.

NO, of course I couldn’t come to look through it myself for the book!  NO, of course they wouldn’t be looking through them to retrieve my book for me!  NO, I should not expect anyone to return my call (after I forced the woman to take my name and number with the description and title of the book)!  NO, no one cares about my damned book!

NO, I should not even entertain the thought that the woman on the phone was going to pass on my message!  Because, you know, she told me not to hold my breath or be hopeful or anything of that sort.  If I ever wanted to whip out the whole “I pay your salary!” line and shake my fist at someone, today was the day.

Assholes.

This just in

In Who comes up with this stuff? on May 27, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Pinterest is all “You’re Invited!!” now.  After what, a couple of weeks?  What on the internet takes a couple of weeks?  It’s insanity.  I think that they are just trying to create a false sense of inflated interest or something.

I am so on to you, Pinterest.

Maybe I’ve become disinterested.  Maybe I’m aloof now.  Maybe I’ve forgotten and moved on.  Maybe I don’t want to be invited now!

Maybe, shmaybe.

I’m SO IN!!

 

**Edited to add:  Pinterest is SO cool!  It ISN’T a false interest, it really is THAT GOOD!  I totally heart Pinterest.**

That is all.

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